I hope the excitement of 2018 has not worn off, you are still slaying those goals and taking steps to make 2017 jealous of 2018! In my book, Plug In: A Woman’s Charge to Pursue Harmony, I wrote about mental attitudes that defeat us and productivity land mines. I want to share five phrases you should remove your vocabulary immediately.
I’m not enough
We are inundated with messages that tell us we are not enough. What’s worse is that these messages proceed by “reassuring” us that we will NEVER be enough. By believing that we are not tall enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough; we limit ourselves and destroy our productivity. If you think you aren’t tall enough to model, then you will never pursue your dream. If you think you aren’t smart enough, you will continue to get degrees and credentials to try to qualify you for something you do naturally and excel at. Don’t you see it’s all a ploy to keep you playing small? I love productivity coaching and project management. It’s rewarding and fulfilling and I know that if I share my talents and abilities I can help other women ignite their purpose. Instead of working with the resources that were already available to me, I sought out additional qualifications in the form of a PMP certification. November 2016, I gave birth to my second child and December 2016, I sat in a room to qualify for the certification. I failed the exam. I didn’t let that exam define me, I started my productivity coaching business anyway and I’m gracefully flourishing in my God given talents! What lies have you told yourself? What have others made you believe you lack? You are enough.
I should have ______
What regrets have created paralysis and have you wallowing in indecision or crippling fear? I should have studied more for my PMP exam. I should have scheduled the exam after my maternity leave. Yeah and? I didn’t so guess what? I’m moving on! What are your “should have’s”? I should have stayed in that relationship, maybe I would have been married now. Maybe. No guarantees. I should have stayed in college. I should have said no. It’s time to move on girlfriends. Forgive others for their mistake of hurting you and forgive yourself for everything you are holding on to. Let’s move forward. You are worth it. You are enough.
You know another thing? You have enough! I don’t know what blanks you think you have to fill in before you will feel like you are enough or have enough, but I want to challenge you to reassess your feelings. If an achievement, weight goal or acquisition of a material possession is your target for success, you will never be satisfied. Why? Because it keeps changing! Remember when a Bachelor’s degree used to set you apart from all the other job applicants. The new target has changed to a Master’s degree, PhD or other certification. Why are you getting your PhD or your certification? It is the perfect procrastination tool. It’s busy work. It seems as if you are working towards your goal but you are just implementing a good excuse to delay what you really know you should do now. The reason behind all of this stalling is FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. A lot of times however, it can also be the fear of success. What will my life look like if I experience rapid success? Start with what you have. Why? You have enough
I don’t have enough
As women, we wear many hats and hold multiple roles. We usually spend most of our time nurturing or caring for others but saying I don’t have enough time is an excuse. To be productive and fulfill our purpose we have to assess the use of our time, reclaim our time and figure out ways to optimize the 24 hours we are given on a daily basis. Instead of saying you don’t have time, admit that it’s not a priority or that you are afraid to pursue your goals. When we adopt a possibility mindset, we exchange “I don’t have time” for “How can I make this happen?” When you make a definitive statement such as “I don’t have enough time or I don’t have the resources; you rob your mind of the opportunity to do the work. Asking the questions, opens up possibilities. Employ creative options, can you barter to get the resources? Can you wake up earlier or go to bed later? Can you use your lunch break to do errands and free up time on your weekends? Put on your problem solving hat and find a solution. You have enough.
I don’t know…
When I wanted to start my productivity coaching business, I didn’t know where to start. Should I start with branding, marketing, business development? Should I get clients first or build the website first? I didn’t have everything all figured out and I allowed my “I don’t know” to excuse me from taking action. This is not about semantics and it’s not about finding a creative way to say you don’t know. Pleading ignorance doesn’t solve the problem and does not relieve you of your duty to find out. Maybe you genuinely don’t know how to get your business started, how to get a new job or how to make more money but with all the access we have to the World Wide Web, I need you to get on the Internet and start searching. Meet with your friends to brainstorm best practices or creative ways of accomplishing your goal. Ask someone who knows, tap into your resources because remember… you have enough
I can’t do it now, it’s too late
I can’t make more money
I can’t fulfill my dreams
I remember being impressed by a particular speaker and I was excited to hear that she had the same feelings I did on topics of worth, standards, social media and identity. I was drawn to her. I loved her transparency and perspective. I was also very excited that people were receptive to her message because it showed me that what I had to say was relevant. It was life changing to listen to her confirm my thoughts, feelings and journal entries. Then the excitement started to dissipate and my fervor and enthusiasm was exchanged for lackluster performance and there was fear as I pondererd “What if I was too late?” What if I waited too long to share my story and she took my place? I can’t do it now, I will look like a fraud!
It was then I realized that pride had taken root and I was in the center of it all. My message is intended for someone who needs it so to shrink and hide in a corner to please someone else is selfish. No one can tell your story the way you can tell your story! It was my story to tell. The message may be similar, but the delivery will be different. There is room for us all. Don’t allow fear to make you feel like you are too late or that there is only room for one. Yes, you can. There is enough
Excerpts taken from chapters on You Are Enough, You Have Enough and There Is Enough
Rose-Anne Uwague is passionate about igniting purpose to help women identify and achieve their goals, Rose-Anne Uwague has been nicknamed “The Igniter”. She challenges women through accountability and introspection to set milestones, tackle their vices and operate in their power by accomplishing their mission. As a Life Strategist, she distinguishes her productivity coaching by helping her clients pursue harmony, employ grace and strategy rather than hustling, grinding and struggling.
Rose-Anne is the author of 7lbs 13 ozs: A Spiritual Journey to Motherhood and Plug In: A Woman’s Charge to Pursue Harmony. She loves to travel to explore and experience new cultures and speaks Basic Spanish and Mandarin Chinese. Connect with her by web, email or Instagram